Brotherly Love, or More?
by AHJessica
Summary: [One Shot] Subaru's concern for Seishiro begins to really mess with Kamui's head. All he ever wanted was to treat his brother more than a brother.


The room was dark, Kamui was sitting on the bed, silent. From what I could see on the floor, it was messy, extremely messy. He seemed to be zoned out completely, not moving, barely taking in a simple breath. It was painful to witness, especially from outside of his slightly tinted window. Nothing had been right since we left Tokyo. We got to a decent world, and of course we are still on the run from... Seishiro. However, my concern over the well being for the man who is hunting us is really starting to bother Kamui.

I have a kind heart, no one really understands the things in my past either. Kamui and I may be twins, and we may have grown up together, but there are things that I have done that he'll never know. I don't really want him to know either.

Kamui kinda pushed his limits this time. He's never dared to hurt me but the minute I mentioned Seishiro's name he grabbed me by the shirt collar, throwing me out the door to the rented room. I truly understand why he acts like this, how would you feel if your own flesh and blood brother was sympathetic for the man who was hunting you down through worlds.

To be honest, I was quite scared to even go back into the apartment. It had been hours, and I would have figured his short temper would have returned to normal now, and he'd be his old self. Yet, something this time was different. He wasn't acting right, normally he'd take a few minutes to chill, and then be up and at 'em, but he was just sitting there lifeless.

It concerned me, yet I don't know what to do to handle it. So I guess the only thing I could do is go in and try to maybe set things right. Jumping over to the door, I searched for the key in my coat pocket, slipping it in the lock and quietly opening the door.

"_Kamuiiiiiiiiiii..." _I called quietly. I got no reply so I walked up to the door of his room and knocked gently two times.

"Kamui, please. Open the door. What's the matter with you?" I said, trying not to raise my voice at him.

It was silent, no movement from inside the room at all. "Kamui, I will kick this door down, then you'll have to pay for it because you wouldn't open it."

Finally the door cracked open and I pushed it gently. Kamui was leaned against the wall looking out the window into the night sky.

"You okay?" I asked softly.

He still was silent, refusing to talk to me. I sighed and sat on the edge of his bed, kicking some of his dirty laundry around.

"You just don't get it. Do you, Subaru?" It was a really random comment, but it was nice to hear his voice again. Even if it had one of the darkest tones I have ever heard from him.

"I do get it Kamui. You don't like the fact that I am concerned about the man who is hunting us. I understand why your mad at me." I picked one of his shirts up off the ground and balled it up, throwing it at him gently.

"That's not all of it Subaru. You think you understand but you don't, and no matter how much it pains me to say this, you NEVER will." The emphasis on the word never was strict and harsh. I sighed.

"How do you know that I never will? I'm a pretty understanding person if you haven't noticed over all of these years." Being a bit more childish like myself, I climbed all the way onto the bed and onto my knees, making a puppy dog face at the twin who was now glaring at me out of the corner of his eye.

"You just aren't the person to understand this Subaru. It's a very, bad thing. It's wrong, in so many ways and if I tell you what it is you are going to run out that door, leaving me for good. Then you'll get yourself killed. I won't let that happen. So just, drop it." He seemed so angry and upset.

"Please Kamui, I'm your brother, I'll understa-" I was cut a bit short by Kamui snapping back at me.

"That's exactly it Subaru! You are my brother..."

"What does me being your brother have to do with anything?" I stood up snapping back at him. Now he was being straight up ignorant.

"God dammit Subaru!" Kamui stormed towards me, grabbing me by the shirt collar.

"Kamui! What are yo-" My voice fell short as he let go of my shirt collar, wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing his lips to mine. What the _hell_ was he thinking?!

I drew myself back looking at him angry and confused. "What the fuck are you doing?!" I screamed.

"See, I told you. I knew you wouldn't understand Subaru you just aren't that type of guy." Kamui's bangs dropped in front of his eyes.

"What did that have to do anything with this situation?!" I wiped my mouth repetitively.

"You still don't understand after all of that, that I love you."

"You do love me! You are my brother after all, I already knew that." I gave him a confused look, I understood he loved me, and I knew what he meant by it. I just, couldn't wrap my head around it.

"No Subaru, I love you more than that. Way more than that. Do you know how weird it is even for me to say that I am in love with my brother? I feel horrible, but I can't fucking help it. All I have ever wanted to do is protect you. That's why I am so upset, you act like you have feelings for Seishiro even though he is hunting you down like an animal. I want to protect you from that. I want to take you away with me and keep you safe from everything that could hurt you." Kamui dropped to his knees and looked up at me.

"Subaru, I was wrong for doing what I just did but you have to see my point of view here. I just want to keep you safe. I want you to have someone to go to who will support and protect you, hold you when your scared and make you feel loved. As a brother, I feel like I can't do that enough. I may be able to keep you safe and protect you, but I don't get to show you how much I care. Please, don't leave. I didn't mean to do this to you, I am sorry for dragging you into my fucked up emotions. I can't bare to lose you."

This was the only moment in my life I had seen Kamui cry. He had always been so strong, so courageous and brave. I always thought he could make it through everything. Seeing him break down, over his feelings for me is breaking my heart as well. I don't know how to even feel. I don't think I love him, and will ever love him the way he loves me, but it is going to kill me inside if I don't give it a chance. I feel so guilty.

"Subaru please, I'm begging you. Give me the rest of the night to prove all of this to you. If you still feel uncomfortable about it then I will just drop the whole idea and keep my feelings to myself." Kamui pleaded, wiping small tears from his eyes.

"The rest of the night, I will at least give you that." I said, nervous about what was to come.

"There is a festival going on, downtown. Come with me. We'll have some fun." Kamui stood up and stretched his arm out towards me.

I hesitated to take his hand. He stood there patient, not rushing me. I put my hand in his and he interlocked our fingers. His hand was warm and soft. It was actually kind of comforting. He gave it a gentle squeeze and led me to the door, grabbing both of our coats in case we needed them.

The streets themselves were quiet until you got downtown where everyone was celebrating. There was food, drinks, games, and a ball pit. Typical things you see at a festival. There were kids running around, happy to stay out past their bed time. Adults tired, some drunk and other actually enjoying themselves.

"So Subaru, what do you want to do?" Kamui looked over at me.

"Whatever you want Kamui." I said quietly, still a bit uncomfortable to be holding hands with someone who is clearly my brother in public.

"I have an idea." Kamui dragged me over to the ball pit and pushed me in.

"You little-" I called before I hit the balls, sinking under. I heard tiny giggles coming from above me.

I reached my hand up out of the massive sea of plastic and grabbed his ankle, pulling him under as well.

"Hey what was that for?" He said still laughing.

"Payback!" I said turning around trying to maneuver my way away from him.

"I'll get you for that!" He said chasing after me. I let out a tiny laugh and continued with all my effort to not let him catch up to me.

I ran into the corner of the pit and before I knew it he had me trapped.

"Dangit! You got me cornered." I said laughing.

"I win! Now come on, lets get out of here and go enjoy the fireworks, they are about to start." Kamui grabbed my hand and pulled me up to him, he took my legs and wrapped them around his waist and told me to hang on to his neck. I did, even if it was bit weird.

He worked his way out, pulling me up with him and running down to the field across from the fireworks. He put his coat down on the ground and set me down on it, covering my shoulders with my own. It was the sweetest thing he's ever done for me, considering well, he is my brother.

He sat down beside me and put his arm around my shoulders.

"These are gonna be great." His voice was much happier than it had been earlier. His grip was tight, but not so tight that it was awkward.

"How do you know?" I asked, giving a sarcastic laugh.

"I just know, lots of colors, cool designs. It's just a beautiful sight." Kamui looked up at the sky and the first firework set off.

From there on out, we couldn't hear each other. The popping of the fireworks was loud, but it was all worth it to see the beauty in them. I could feel myself beginning to get tired so I let my head fall against Kamui's shoulder. He grasped me tighter and I got comfortable, drifting off to sleep.

When I had awoken, I was at home, in Kamui's room which was now clean. It was warm in the bed and I felt Kamui's arm crossing over my stomach, holding me to his body. I stiffened a bit and then relaxed, realizing it wasn't so bad. I carefully turned over in his grip and buried my face into the crease of his neck. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I could love my brother like this.

I layed still, not wanting to wake him up. My hand made it's way under the arm that was holding me and around to his back. He groaned a little and shifted, pulling himself even tighter to me.

"Good morning sleepy head." I said softly, letting my other hand rest against his bare chest. I should have known he wouldn't go to bed with all of his clothes on.

"Morning.." He mumbled, burying his face in my hair.

I stayed still waiting on him to wake up a little more. It was quiet until he gave a sudden outburst.

"So..."

"Soooooo what?" I asked.

He pulled back a little and looked me directly in the eyes. "Last night, how do you feel about... it?"

"Let's not talk about it." I said, smiling. Which gave him a huge confused look.

"But I need to know if yo-" I leaned in more and pressed my lips softly to his, cutting off his sentence. The arm that was around me now came up to my cheek, and his thumb gently caressed my skin.

I pulled back slowly, "That answer your questions?"

"God dammit, I love you." He giggled a bit and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.

"I love you too Kamui." I buried my face in his neck again and just relaxed, enjoying his touch and love. This is what he wanted, this is what he gets. I'm just glad I know it's what I want too.


End file.
